Our May 2025 theme was Autism and we shortlisted 3 fantastic books:
1. Strong Female Character by Fern Brady
2. Unmaksed by Ellie Middleton
3. Untypical by Pete Wharmby
Fern Brady's Strong Female Character won with 43% of RBC members' votes and here's why we chose it:
“Turns out I’m autistic, and I’ve been hilarious and furious about it my whole life.”
Comedian Fern Brady’s raw and funny memoir explores growing up undiagnosed in a working-class Scottish household—and what a late autism diagnosis revealed about gender, class, and being different.
What out members thought of Strong Female Character
Celebrate unique perspectives within the RBC community
We asked neurodivergent members to share their experience and advice, here are some snippets from their answers.
What does being neurodivergent mean to you?
"I'm late diagnosed AuDHD – basically autistic and ADHD. I didn't realise I was neurodivergent until the age of 35, so first and foremost getting a diagnosis has been so validating! It helped explain so many early childhood experiences and so many of the ways in which I spent my whole life feeling like I was marching to a different drumbeat. Turns out I'm pretty typical – research shows the average woman gets her ADHD diagnosis at 36-37, often after years of being told it's just anxiety or stress. I know that a lot of people don't like labels, but for me it's been liberating to realise that there's a reason I don't thrive in certain environments."
"Seeing, experiencing and processing the world differently to the “norm”"
"Feeling like I’m in a world that wasn’t designed for me, constantly questioning everything."
"Experiencing the world in a unique way"
"I wish I knew! I don’t fully understand it yet, but I just feel different"
How does your brain work in a way that you value?
"I like that I see the world so very differently to other people. I run my own marketing consultancy and as a business owner I see it as a strategic advantage over other people who are always looking to play safe – there's actually research showing neurodivergent people are 3-4 times more likely to become entrepreneurs, probably because we're comfortable with uncertainty and can spot opportunities others miss. And as just another human being, navigating the world with others, I think being different has helped me to help others. I'm deeply empathetic and a great person to go to for a pep talk or when you feel like there's no way out of your situation. I can always find the silver lining in anything."
"Ability to hyperfocus and see patterns others can’t, or don’t recognise"
"I can REALLY focus on passion projects and get quite good at them quite quickly as a result. I seek to understand EVERYTHING in its entirety. I cannot walk away from a conversation without having fully understood the other person"
"Empathy, honesty, integrity, determination, developing special interests, strong sense of justice, able to recognise patterns, good memory."
"I usually notice the details that others can’t see. I’m also more vigilant to danger."
What’s something you wish more people understood about neurodivergence?
"Firstly, there's a saying in neurodivergent circles "if you've met an autistic person, you've met one autistic person." I think it's a great reminder to not be careless with your language. Phrases like "well, aren't we all just a little autistic?" or "isn't everyone on the spectrum" are, at best, deeply irritating, and at worse incredibly invalidating. Secondly, I think books like Fern Brady's are instrumental for understanding how women's neurodivergence manifests differently to men's. It took me a long time to get my diagnosis (and people will still tell me that I don't seem autistic or don't seem like I have ADHD) because I'm so good at masking and adjusting my behaviour so that I can fit in. But I pay an enormous price for being good at blending in – I'm currently spending about 25% of my income just on the tools and support I need to function in a neurotypical world. The adjustments I have to make (more or less permanently living in noise cancelling mode, for example) are pretty draining, and that's before you factor in the recovery time needed after any social or networking event."
"That it doesn’t make you any less “normal” - no one is “normal”. I feel there is still a lot of stigma in the wider community and society depending on the neuro diverse “bucket” you fall into. ADHD is almost seen as “cool” now, but people shy away from the autistic badge and often discuss it in contexts of it being a problem or needing to be “cured” vs viewing it as a different form of diversity and individuality that should be included and accommodated for."
"We are still human and still want to connect with you. Let us do so however feels best (with fidget toys, stimming, with ear defenders if in a noisy space). Be accomodating - I have a friend who recently understood that I would HATE and really not cope with celebrating my birthday at the pub in central London on a Saturday night. Instead she suggested a board game bar - we had a great time. Get to know us and things that are barriers for us."
"It’s difficult to feel like the same person after getting diagnosed. If your whole life was symbolised in a dollhouse, it’s like someone tipped it upside down, shook it and couldn’t put back exactly as it was. All the dolls and furniture are moved around, some look different and some you can even see more clearly because makes you re-think so many life experiences that you have a new perspective to. And if you wanted to, you can slowly re-arrange the pieces in a new way or collect new pieces to start unmasking and learning to move forward in a way that’s true to you instead of forcing yourself to make others more comfortable first. It really changes everything and you might even start grieving for pieces in the dollhouse you were never able to find or place in the right room."
Neurodivergence starter dictionary
Our RBC Sydney host, Emma Noller, shared a neurodivergence stater dictionary.
Masking - the process of hiding and suppressing parts of yourself to appear more normal or socially acceptable (often mirroring behaviour rather than full understanding)
Stimming - (short for self-stimulatory behaviour) Repetitive movements or sounds that help regulate emotions, sensory input of focus
RSD - Rejection Sensitivity Disorder - An intense emotional response to perceived rejection, criticism or failure.
Sensory overwhelm / overload - The brain becomes overloaded by sensory inputs (noise, lights, textures or smells)
Executive Function - The brain’s management system - responsible for planning, time management, starting tasks, switching focus (often called task switching), remembering things and emotional regulation.
Dysregulation - When emotions, energy or sensory input feel out of control or hard to manage - like a storm inside your body or brain.
Time Blindness - Difficulty sensing or estimating the passage of time - leading to be late (or anxiously overly early) consistently, losing track of time, or struggling to plan realistically.
Object impermanence - The tendency to forget about things when they are out of sight - including people, tasks or belongings
Hyperfocus - A state of intense, often joyful concentration on a task or activity - to the point of losing awareness of time, hunger, or surroundings.
RBC May events
At the end of the month, we met in 9 cities (London, Bristol, Oxford, Manchester, Edinburgh, Sydney, Perth, Boulder and Vancouver) + online, to discuss the book. At the London event, we were joined by Jess Meredith, Keynote speaker, Social entrepreneur and Neurodiversity trainer; Parul Singh, Founder of Parallel Minds, joined the Manchester group, and Richard Lamb of Autistic All Along joined our digital event. Here's the recording of our conversation with Richard.
